Houseguests: A Blog by Marcy Mary

I know it has been awhile since I wrote, but I have not been inactive. It has been a chore keeping my humans calm during the current election season. Some days I have been suddenly snatched from my bed and hauled around by Mom, Dad, or Grandma Bella. My ears have bald patches from being stroked. (Mom says there is nothing more soothing than stroking my gorgeous, soft, auburn ears.) And our walks have been rather brisk but, of course, I can easily keep up. 

I thought this week would be calmer, but not so—we have houseguests. Teddy and Sadie have come to visit while their human parents head up the coast on a short vacation. They arrived this morning with three bags of toys, a bed that could accommodate a mastiff, and a lot of treats, chews, and food.

Grandma Bella and I greeted our houseguests at the door. “My goodness, they do have a lot of gear,” Grandma said faintly, her pale-blue eyes growing large as she ushered the young doxies and their parents into the house.

The humans got busy stowing everything. My incredible sense of smell had detected two bags that held comestibles …

After the ritual sniffing and little yips of greeting, I took Teddy and Sadie outside. They bounded around the yard, ate a few leaves. Sadie, black and tan, ran up to me. “Marcy Mary, we are going to have so much fun together!” Her black eyes sparkled, and the sun glistened off her velvety black fur. 

Teddy joined us, saying, “Let’s go mind someone else’s business.” With that, he ran to the fence, an auburn blur, and started barking at Boonie, my dog neighbor who has a bad temper (but loves me, of course). A lot of barking was going on, but I think Boonie said something rude to Teddy. It sounded like “I bet you still squat when you pee,” but I was too busy watching Sadie head purposefully toward an oleander bush. She was just about to close her mouth on a pink blossom when I ran toward her, barking somewhat hysterically. “Don’t eat that! It’s poison!”

Sadie immediately flattened her hindquarters and peed. I rolled my eyes heavenward and sent up a quick prayer to Saint Brunhilde, the patron saint of dachshund puppies. I still pray to her, even though she is a black-and-tan long-hair. “It’s okay, Sadie,” I comforted her. “You just can’t eat that plant. It will make you sick.”

She bounded back on all fours and gave me several little licks.

By then, Teddy had joined us. “She eats all kinds of leaves and sometimes pukes,” he said in a superior tone, looking down his nose at the petite Sadie.

“At least I’m not so dumb that I eat bees and have to go to the emergency vet—twice!” Sadie barked.

After that remark sunk in, intense looks were exchanged between the two pups. The impasse ended when Sadie jumped on Teddy and they started rolling around, biting each other while making fierce noises. I stepped back a few feet and watched. 

After a few minutes, the melee was broken up by a peculiar crackling-swooshing noise. I glanced over my shoulder as a long tube, about 15 inches in diameter and 6 feet long, unfolded on the patio. Teddy looked up and said, “Oh good, they brought our tunnel!”

Sadie, momentarily distracted, glanced at the tunnel and then bit down hard on Teddy’s tail. The wrestling resumed but now incorporated the tunnel.

It was exhausting just watching them. Puppies, I thought and wondered if I would be able to keep up with them. Then the fracas stopped as suddenly as it started. 

“I’m hungry and sleepy,” Sadie said on a yawn that showed an uneven selection of canine canines. Clearly, she was teething, but using her brother’s tail to soothe her gums seemed a bit harsh. Still, he used her hind leg. 

Teddy agreed with her, adding, “Let’s grab a snack and a nap. Come on, Marcy Mary.”

As we entered the house, I was about to point out that meal time was pretty rigid, but then I realized that these houseguests had hidden assets. Four bowls had magically appeared beside my water bowel. Three were filled with a mixture ground beef, shredded carrot, and brown rice—fortunately, light on the rice and carrots. The other bowl held crunchy treats.

Grandma Bella smiled as we started chomping down. “Marcy Mary, it would not be fair if you did not get snacks too.”

This was a snack? Life was looking good.

After we ate, Sadie and Teddy headed toward their huge plush bed and curled up like yin and yang. As I was stepping into my Louis Vuitton bed, both their heads suddenly popped up. “Aren’t you going to sleep with us, Marcy Mary?” And they looked so concerned, I felt I should. There was, after all, plenty of room for my svelte self.

As I cuddled up with my new friends on top of the satisfaction of a full belly, I felt a great sense of belonging. The dachshund nation: long may the flag wave!